Day Twenty Eight: Four Weeks, I'd Say More Like Four Months 6/27/2016

     Time is a funny thing. We, as most humans, measure time in increments of 24 hour days, 7 of those days consist of a week, and 4 weeks consist of a month; but what if time was measured in increments of moments of community, the bonds forged between brothers and sisters in Christ, the moments of laughter and of deep sorrow, the moments where we truly experience the Holy Spirit moving in our hearts and transforming our lives. That is how I want to measure time. The time spent here in Ocean City has been amazing and truly life changing. It seems weird to look at the people I've become so comfortable with and grown to love and say that I met them only twenty eight days ago. Summer mission time is not adequately measured in minutes, days, or weeks, but rather by experience. 

     Since I last wrote, so much has happened, this past week was the last full week where the staff will be with us, so very busy. Yesterday alone was crazy. We went to church in the morning, and then at 1pm began women's day. We stated out with a game of kick ball, in which our team won 14-6. I did surprisingly well, despite the obvious. After, we went to the staff girls apartment and pampered ourselves with Never Been Kissed staring Drew Barrymore, nail painting, and crafts. The evening consisted of catered Panera and fancy dresses, oh yeah, and a surprise cake for my birthday :)

      We then went through an hour or so of quiet time, where our disciplers and their discipler prayed over us. It was amazingly painful. This past week God has been throwing a lot at me in the realm of our suffering on earth and his goodness. Not only was the sermon that I listened to online on Daniel and his struggles as well as Shadrack, Meshack, Abendigo, but the very next day Shelby Abbot spoke on Daniel 3 at family night. Needless to say, I got the message God. So when we prayed yesterday, all of the emotions I had been dealing with the entire week, just kind of spilled out. It was very humbling for me. I found a song that perfectly sums up this week for me, Thy Will by Hilary Scott, the lead singer of Lady Antebellum.

       Thy will be done (x3)

I know you are good / but this don't feel good right now / And I know you think / 

Of things I could never think about / it's just hard to count it all joy /

Distracted by the noise / Just trying to make sense / of all your promises / 

Sometimes I gotta stop/ Remember that you are God / and I'm not / So....

Thy will be done (x3)

Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is 

Thy will be done (x3)

Thy will 

     This week as I prepare to give my testimony on both Wednesday at family night, and at church on Sunday, I ask that you pray for God to use me to speak to those listening, that my testimony may move people. I ask for boldness and confidence as well as peace. Also pray for the hearts of both our coworkers and the people we outreach to this week, that God will soften their hearts to the gospel. Thank you all for your continuous prayers and love. 

     Lots of love, Maddy

Day Twenty One: Pain found in Personal Growth 6/20/2016

     This mission is not for the faint of heart, I'll tell you that much. For three weeks now we have been poured into by wise staff members, pastors, and one another; it seems unreal. To have this many Christians the same age truly seeking out God and molding their life to look more like his is astounding. I am impressed, proud, and intimidated by the friends I've made so far. Being around them urges me to dive deeper into God's word, pray without ceasing, and to continue to invest in their friendship to grow a community of love, laughter, and accountability.   

     I would be lying if I said that I haven't been learning some very real and hard stuff these past few weeks. I'd like to share with you what God has been doing in my life, how I've responded, and practical things that I've been doing to not only improve my relationship with God, but also to fix parts of my life that I've been living wrong for a while. 

     First, thank you to all of you who continue to check up on me through this blog, I'm grateful for your prayers and support. What I am about to say are some personal struggles that I've been dealing with for the better part of almost 20 (6 more days :) ) years of my life. So though I'm not saying anything that I fear will "go viral" or am ashamed of, I hope that you will be gracious to me as I share some things you may not know.

     Here it goes: Ever since I've known about my disability and the differences between my sisters and I along with the many struggles it has brought me, I've hated my physical appearance, and lashed out at others in anger for what apparently God had "fearfully and wonderfully made." During my elementary and middle school years, I was a very angry child and quickly came to hate everything about myself. In high school, I assumed that because of the way God had made me that there was no way anyone would ever love me both in terms of friends, because they would obviously befriend me out of pity, and in terms boys.... Well, I've always wanted to have a boyfriend and get married one day, and although I pursue guys I'm interested in, it seems as if I will never catch their attention or get out of the "friend zone." These past few weeks, we have been talking about how to approach relationships in a Christian way, and seek God in a way that any guy who may be interested in us, must seek God to get to us. We've also learned about the design differences between men and women and how we, as women, are supposed to be pursued not pursue, and in the meantime love God and submit to his will.

    It's been an emotional ride, learning all these things and trying to digest them, but it has relieved a weight that has been on my heart for years. In your prayers this week, I ask that you specifically pray that my heart will soften to the truth, that I am created by God perfectly, and to cast all my anxieties on him, giving him all of my struggles and allowing him to be in control of my life. I ask that you pray for the distractions that I am running into on this trip and that they won't take up time in my life that should be time for God. Thanks again for all of your love! Sorry this was a longer and more detailed post than usual.

    Lots of love,  Maddy 

Day Fourteen: Spiritual and Social Over Load 6/13/2016

     We've been here for a fortnight (yes, I just said fortnight, deal with it :) ), and I must say its amazingly overwhelming. We have four to five teachings a week not including our local churches on Sunday morning, and scripture being thrown at us from all over the place. It's amazing being around such a concentrated group of wise and studied adults to guide, support, and teach me this summer. I find my self physically and emotionally drained at the end of each day and have to remind myself to take my daily quiet time to reflect on the day's teaching and pray through it with God. 

     I bet you are all wondering which teachings have been the most influential or related to my personal walk with God. Well, folks here's the answer, ALL OF THEM! I'm not just saying that because I've loved the staff members lessons or because I don't want to hurt any ones feelings, but in all honesty, these staff members have it all figured out. On Wednesday's our mission director, Shelby, speaks at our weekly meeting, Rachel, Krista, and Rebeca (the staff moms) teach during women's time on Thursday evening, and then we have a bible study every Tuesday with our wonderful Jules! Each talk has been on different ways to surrender our lives to Christ, which in case you were wondering is exactly what I wrote on my application as the main thing I want to get out of this summer. 

     We began by talking about the Spirit-Filled life, what that means, and how it would look in our every day life. That was the first time Shelby spoke. The next week he spoke on trusting God in all areas of our lives, like a baby who trusts her father to catch her every time she gets to the edge of the bed and tumbles off. The first women's time was on yielding our life to Christ and getting a perspective on eternity and how we cannot deny our creator. Then this past week was on truth and allowing God's word to be the truth in our lives. Essentially giving up the lies the devil, society, and we tell ourselves to God and to hear his truth. As I process all the amazing teachings coming in I ask that you pray for me to humble myself and give everything up to the Lord, to let him be the king on the throne of my life and to follow him completely trusting that he's got this. 

     Another thing that has been on my mind recently is writing my testimony. This summer we are supposed to share our testimony at least twice formally at our local churches and our weekly meeting. I've been brainstorming themes to work off of in order to craft my testimony, but I'm still struggling to figure out which route to go down. Prayers for all of us working on that this week would be great. Other than that thank you again for all your love and continuous support and prayers.

Lots of Love,

Maddy 

Day Seven: Deep Breaths in a Moment of Silence 6/6/2016

     I can't believe that I've already been here a full week! It seems like just yesterday I moved in and started to get to know everyone. We've had a pretty full week with orientation, training, and acquiring full time jobs for the summer. Getting to know each other has been fun and amusing. There are 30 students living in the house and 15 staff members down the street. I didn't really have a hard time learning every ones name, but keeping straight where they are from, where they are working, and what year they are... give me another week or so.
     First off the house is beautiful! Apparently, in previous years, the student housing was kind of sketchy with holes in the ceiling and bathrooms so cramped that you had to pee sitting sideways! We are truly blessed to be the first mission in the house and I love it. There are 4 apartments with 7 people in each, 2 bed rooms, a bathroom, kitchen, and living room. After opening the big yellow front door the entrances to the first two apartments are on either side and the stairs in the middle leads up to another set of two apartments. There is also a loft that many of us hang out in at night playing games and getting to know each other. There's also a mini apartment up there for 4 other guys.
     We are a part of three different groups while on project, the first is our bible study. A group of 4 girls, or 5 guys, have one staff member leading a bible study with us over the 6 weeks that we have with them, and they also will be individually disciplining us. I've never had a discipler but many of the other students here do, and have said wonderful things. We were also assigned a life group to go to church with. This is a bigger group of students, both men and women, with a few staff members. My group was assigned 1st Presbyterian, a church only a few blocks away that has graciously allowed our mission to use their facilities for meetings throughout the week. Lastly we chose mission teams, which meet weekly and plan events or outreaches for the entire mission. I chose the outreach team (if any of you know my father, that was the same team he was on during his first summer project), we teach and plan different outreaches every Saturday. I'm very excited to push myself and be bold in my faith by talking to new people.
     I HAVE A JOB!!! Cru has been coming to Ocean City, MD for eleven years now and have built relationships with companies allowing students like me to easily get jobs. We had reps from three different companies come in to explain how many jobs they were holding for us and what they entailed. I will be working as an intern/assistant for the HR manager at the Harrison Group corporate offices. It's a lot of paper work and computer type things, but it keeps me busy and makes time fly.
     Lastly I wanted to update those of you who have me in your prayers and ask you to pray for specific things as I think of some. First, I ask that you pray for the community within the house; as a whole I hope that we can all bond well and become friends who support each other in our journeys this summer and for a life time. In both our bible studies and life groups that we can be vulnerable with each other and love on each other in our time of need, and during our men's and women's time that we will be humble and graceful towards each other as the living space is small and that we resist the urge to gossip. I pray for all of our jobs this summer that we will be a light in dark places and create relationships with our co-workers. Thank you all for your continuous love and support!